Mary our Mother

"Immaculate Conception, Mary, my Mother. Live in me. Act in me. Speak in and through me. Think your thoughts in my mind. Love through my heart. Give me your dispositions and feelings. Teach, lead and guide me to Jesus. Correct my path, enlighten my thoughts, and expand with your love my heart. Possess my soul. Take over my entire personality and life. Replace it with yourself. Incline me to constant adoration and praise. Pray in me and through me, O Mother. Let me live in you, and keep me in this union of hearts. Totus tuus ego suum!"
John Paul the Great

Today begins the 33 day of preparation for consecration to our Lady before her feast of the Visitation, May 31st, which is also Pentecost! If you have never done this consecration before, I strongly suggest you to do it.

Consecration to Our Lady consists of acknowledging that God chose Mary to be His vessle to bring Christ into the world, and as Augustine says however Christ came into the world, we should go back through this way to get to God, therefore, going through Mary!
Consecration is simply giving ourselves totally to our Mother, asking her to bring us closer to her Son, to make us holy and love Him!

Here is a bit of an intro one of my friends wrote in an email to the house last semester:

The Total Consecration to Mary is a devotion begun by St. Louis de Montfort, a holy and devout Parisian priest of the 17th century. Renowned for his ability at teaching, he also had an incredibly strong love for Our Lady, a devotion which moved him to create a method of consecrating oneself to her in a special way, now known as the True Devotion.
In this devotion, one gives oneself totally to Mary as her slave, that she may have "the entire and full right of disposing of me, and all that belongs to me, without exception, according to your good pleasure, for the greater glory of God in time and throughout eternity." Through this consecration one begins to configure oneself to Mary, that one may be molded in her likeness, who herself molded Christ within her womb.

It is a 33 day process, with the 34th being the day of consecration. It starts today and ends on May 31st, the Visitation (and Pentecost!). A useful website to go to to get more information, as well as the rest of the prayers, is http://www.fisheaters.com/totalconsecrationmontfort.html

The website suggests reading True Devotion to Mary, but it that is not necessarily suggested for everyone. The simplest way is to just start praying the rosary every day, and maybe even just the simple prayer above by John Paul the Great. Whatever you see fit for your own spiritual life (some are more ready for certain readings/prayers than others) learn to speak to Mary as your Mother, for she IS our Mother, the Mother of ALL mankind!

TOTUS TUUS! Totally yours!

In Christ and Mary,
Sam

2nd semester finally...

He is RISEN Alleluia! He is risen INDEED ALLELUIA!

Wow I've don't a great job neglecting this this semester. I supremely appologize. I had one started from the end of last semester, and wow here I am, the middle of April!



This semester has been a whirlwind of blessings and trials but most of all perseverance.



I traveled inbetween semesters to London and Germany. The new semester started and the house has never been livlier. I love this community more day after day.

Above are Some of the boys. This is their life. (Hacky sack. ALL the time. hhaa)

We made many trips along the way. Siena again, a women's day trip with Fr. Justin and our women's chaplain a lay consecrated woman, Nina to Lanciano (Eucharistic miracle), stopped to visit a Passionist saint Gabriele, and finally the veil of Veronica. The veil of Veronica was probably my favorite. To truly see the face of Christ. I would love to explain it more. Please ask me. It perfectly matches up to the shroud of Turin and had been in the Vatican for the longest time. Now some great Capuchins are taking care of it in Monopello.

Below is all the girls who pilgrimaged and Nina, our chaplain.
Classes are another blessing (and challenge!). I'm taking 5 again. Biblical Spirituality of the Consecrated life with another girl from my grouop. Unfortunatly we have yet to discuss the consecrated life...haha.

History of the Medieval Church with a great Dominican Fr. Ditton who I had last semester. He really makes it story time and tells the history of Mother Church so well, and especially the medieval era was a particularly difficult time...he makes no excuses and does not go round about at all but just tells it straight. So great!

Eucharist with Fr. Buckles. Just like a mini retreat every class as he just speaks from his heart about his love for the Lord, especially of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and Eucharistic Adoration.

God and the Poets with Fr. Murray. I had him last semester as well. So great. Enough said.

Possibly my FAVORITE has been Fundamental Moral Theology taught by none other than the papall theologian, Fr. Giertych. Anything the Pope writes, he reviews to make sure it is teaching correct theology. How did we all become so blessed to have HIM as our professor? It is so rewarding because we have learned about everything from the true vocation of men and women...for each other and for the Church. How do we live that out etc. We learn a lot about morality obviously but what makes acts morally good or morally evil, which ties into confession etc. Just really great life lessons. I do only a simple and poor way of describing it but its great.
Earlier this week it was his name feast day. St. Aldabert/Woeicych (I totally did NOT write his name right) so we sang Happy Feast day to You to the tune of Happy Birthday. :) I love my school!

Earlier this semester we had Mons. Merini over for our community night dinner. He is the Pope's master of ceremonies...aka he is is right hand man. It was so beautiful to have him here. He celebrated mass for us here in the house and we were able to talk to him afterwards and have dinner with him. He is going to try to get our seminarians to be able to serve for the Holy Father and because of him one of our seminarians was able to read one of the petitions for Good Friday at St. Peter's and my roommate was able to read the last of the first readings, from Ezekial, for the Easter Vigil mass at St. Peter's!!!!! The image below is of our Holy Father during his visit to Africa. Mons. Merini is on the right!

Below is Luke, one of our seminarians, processing (in or out?) during Good Friday service at St. Peter's. He is the one to the left below the pink camera.
Super tiny, but Steph is on the left proclaiming the Word of God from the prophet Ezekial. She is to the right of the red stuff on the top of the swiss guard's hat. Note our Holy Father on the right! :)

Other blessings during Lent was that my cousin Maggie and friend Caitlin came to visit. It was so much fun to have them around. We went to Cinque Terra which has been one of my favorite places this year to be.

My grandparents and my aunt Jackie also came about a week later. They were able to come to one of our community nights which was SO great to have them be able to enter into the community here. Also, because I have met some of the Germans, a German seminarian friend was able to give us a tour of the Vatican gardens. The German seminarians have their seminary within Vatican walls. How cool!

Backtrack a little Lent was beautiful. There is a tradition in Rome dating back to like the 500's to Pope Gregory (I can't remember which one...one of the first ones...) of station churches, which means that every day there is a particular church that everyone goes to mass at. Now it has progressed where at 7am there is an English mass, 8am the German mass, and later in the day an Italian mass. So every morning a group of us would get up...around 5ish...and walk to whatever church it was that day, praying the rosary on the way, and starting out the morning with wonderful conversations and most importantly with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. The churches were always soooo packed for the English mass. And OH WHAT A JOY to have mass in English! Afterwards we would go to the Gregorian for breakfast, which is the Jesuit University where our chaplain Fr. Carola teaches. Then afterwards we would go to class. It was such a beautiful time adn community building but most importantly we learned so much through our prayer and perseverance. It's not so easy to get up at 5 every morning and WALK for sometimes a good hour, but we learned to do it only for the love of Jesus. So good so good! Now it is kind of sad because they stop after Easter, and we wake up wondering which mass we are goign to go to becasue our schedule has totally been thrown off because of this. It was so central to our Lenten prayer!

But ALLELUIA He is RISEN! Easter is such a cause for JOY and CELEBRATION. Lent is definetly one of my favorite seasons of the Church, which many people think is weird. But it is such a great time of prayer and reflection and penance, but the ONLY reason it is beautiful is the HOPE that awaits us! What a God we have! What a beautiful joy!
The cross is so central to our lives as Christians, but we must ALWAYS view the cross only in terms also of the resurrection. HE LIVES! Not just in an abstract idea, but Christ truly lives every day and He always has and always WILL. Sometimes I forget how amazing that is, but than I am reminded when praying just the simple prayer of the Glory be how amazing it is.

"Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. AMEN!"
The same God of Moses and Abraham, is the same God that humbled Himself to come to the Earth and become one of US and Jesus Christ suffered as we suffer but He most importantly suffered FOR us, died FOR us, but most importantly he ROSE. We are not left in the depths of the tomb...We are given hope for our lives through His resurrection, His PROMISE to us that we can live in union with Him FOREVER!!! Praise God for this marvelous gift!

The Friday before Holy Week I made a pilgrimage with five other girls to Poland. We stayed at the Divine Mercy Shrine which was super exciting for me because it is the Shrine where a convent where St. Faustina stayed at. St. Faustina is my confirmation saint! I was able to venerate a relic of her as well as see the image of Divine Mercy that our Lord revealed to her to spread the message of His Mercy to the WORLD. Through His words, she also received teh Divine Mercy Chaplet, and later on, JPII made the Sunday after Easter Divine Mercy Sunday. There is also so much more to say about that, but know that our Lord is SO Merciful and any sin or any way we turn from the Lord He will ALWAYS ALWAYS take us back and always loves us SO MUCH! :)

We were also able to spend Palm Sunday in Wadowice where the great saint JPII was born and baptized and spent the early years of his life. Another saint whom has a great reason for my love of Christ and who had such an influence on my life and of SO MANY it was one of my favorite places to be. The faith and tradition of the Polish people is so beautiful!

I was back in Rome for Triduum...we got back Holy Thursday morning. I was able to attend Good Friday service at St. Peter's as well as Easter Vigil. Again, such a blessing to be able to be near the Holy Father during this time. He is such a father figure!

We also had a wonderful Easter celebration, and I was up early to pray morning prayer on our terrace to the rising of the sun. Right as we were praying the Canticle of Zachariah and praying the verse "and the dawn on high shall break upon us" the sun just came up from behind the building it was hiding behind. It was so beautiful and peaceful. I just love praying with this people and starting the day off with a sunrise and prayer together was the best way to start Easter Sunday morning, being reminded of Mary Magdalene seeing our Lord at the tomb! Alleluia!

Easter day we had a HUGE feast here at Bernardi with families and guests followed by mass in the house with Fr. Carola. Following was American football in the house and the best was that I was able to Skype with my family back at home! Praise God!

Tuesday evening my friend Katlyn and Sheila and I left for Medugorie. Medugorie is in Bosnia and 28 some years ago 6 children began to receive visions of our Lady, Queen of Peace on the mountains there. Today she still appears to one of the visionaries every day. To the other ones either once a month or once a year. To a war-torn country dominated by communists, our Lady Queen of Peace came to protect and show the hope of her Son.

We stayed at castle, literally. A couple from Canada had a MAJOR conversion experience from reading some of teh messages of our Lady. She was a big shot lawyer, and he was a big deal car dealer...literally owning almost all the dealers in Canada...making something like 30million a YEAR. He opened up the messages of our Lady and the one he read was
"I AM CALLING YOU TO CONVERSION FOR THE LAST TIME."
That message was enough to bring him back to church, most importantly confession and the Mass, and even on a plane to Medugorie after he sold EVERYTHING. His wife was confused as to why he wanted to move there. His response was "The Mother of God lives in Medugorie. I want to be her next door neighbor."
Wanting to give a gift to the other love of his life (besides his wife) but to our Lady, he built her a castle. This castle receives pilgrims year round free of cost. The hospitality of this couple and the constant outpouring of their lives and their love for the Lord is incredible. We were constantly eating, praying, meeting new people who were always dropping by to see the castle, praying, and eating more.
I stayed there from Tuesday night to Monday night. It was a wonderfully prayerful experience. The conversions and stories from the pilgrims there is amazing. Whatever is happening there, the conversions prove that God is WORKING and people are being drawn incredibly close to the Immaculate Heart of Mary and she is PROTECTING them! Praise be Jesus and Mary! I have never prayed the rosary so much, much less enjoy it and I only pray that I can continue this!
The main messages I can give you from here is pray the rosary, go to confession (at least once a month) go to mass (at least once a week), and pray pray pray! It is possible and it is NOT just for priests and religious. The beautiful thing is that I have never seen so many FAMILIES...parents and CHILDREN coming together for prayer. All of the visionaries are married and have children. God is working! Remember that always! And we are ALL called to love Him ENTIRELY.

Now I'm back in class and back in teh "swing of things" as they say. Last night we just had an awesome cookout with teh whole house, plus a friend of mine from high school and two of her friends, Fr. Shuster from the GB Diocese was visiting, etc. We had burgers and good American food, and ended the night with a lot of guitar playing, some John Mellencamp, and praise and worship. I just sat in the circle looking around at all these people and just thought MAN this is beautiful! If only everyone could see this! HERE is the future of the Church. So simple but yet we can just get together and have good clean fun and love the Lord while doing it!

As St. Therese of Liseux gives us the best example, it is in the little things, the little ways.

"In times of aridity when I am incapable of praying, of practicing virtue, I seek little opportunities, mere trifles, to give pleasure to Jesus; for instance a smile, a pleasant word when inclined to be silent and to show weariness. If I find no opportunities, I at least tell Him again and again that I love Him; that is not difficult and it keeps alive the fire in my heart. Even though this fire of love might seem extinct I would still throw little straws upon the embers and I am certain it would rekindle. "
XVI letter to her sister Celine

St. Therese, pray for us! St. Faustina, pray for us!
Immaculate Heart of Mary, bless and protect us

Thank you for your patience and I will do my darndest to update more!

God love you! xo

I love Christ in you.

In Louisville, at the corner of Fourth and Walnut, in the center of the shopping district, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that
I loved all those people, that they were mine and I theirs,
that we could not be alien to one another even though we were total strangers. It was like waking from a dream of separateness...
It is a glorious destiny to be a member of the human race,
though it is a race dedicated to many absurdities and one which makes many terrible mistakes: yet, with all that,
God Himself gloried in becoming a member of the human race.
A member of the human race!
To think that such a commonplace realization should suddenly seem like news that one holds the winning ticket in a cosmic sweepstake...
I have the immense joy of being man, a member of a race in which God Himself became incarnate.
As if the sorrows and stupidities of the human condition could overwhelm me, now that I realize what we all are.
And if only everybody could realize this!

But it cannot be explained.
There is no way of telling people that they are all walking around shining like the sun.

- Thomas Merton

Although by Night

I am doing a reflection on this poem for my Spiritual Theology class and I am a big fan.

How well I know the spring that brims & flows,
Although by night.
This eternal spring is hidden deep,
How well I know the course its waters keep,
Although by night.
It's source I do not know because it has none
And yet from this, I know, all sources come,
Although by night.
I know that no created thing could be so fair
And that both earth & heaven drink from there,
Although by night.
I know its depths possess no bed to fathom
And that none may ford across or sound them,
Although by night.
Its radiance is never clouded, and in this
I know that all light has its genesis,
Although by night.
I know its currents carry such abundance
They water hell & heaven & all nations,
Although by night.
The current welling from this fountain's source
I know to be as mighty in its force,
Although by night.
And from these two proceeds another stream.
I know that neither over this one reigns su­preme,
Although by night.
This eternal fountain is concealed from sight
Within this living bread to give us life,
Although by night.
And here is calling out to all the creatures,
These waters quench their thirst, although by darkness
Because they lie in night.
I long for this, the living fountain-head,
I see it here within the living bread,
Although by night.

St. John of the Cross

warmer

The weather is getting warmer here and it feels like spring! We are persevering...I have two finals on Monday, two on Tuesday, and one on Wednesday. Everyone here leaves on Friday at like 3am. Fr. Carola is sending us off with mass at 2:15 am.

I'm working on studying now and papers...please pray for us!

Continuing pilgrimage: St. Padre Pio, St. Benedict, St. Scholastica

After we left Lanciano, we hopped back into the van to drive an hour to San Giovanni Rotundo, where the Capuchins in their brown habits and sandaled feet still bring to mind the simple man long ago who renounced everything, even the clothes he was wearing on his back, to life entirely for Christ. Many modern distortions think of St. Francis mainly as a tree-hugger, when in fact, while he did love God’s creation, he was a saint so conformed to Christ that he was the first ever to receive the stigmata, that is, the wounds of Christ. We were excited to meet a more recent Saint who bore those same wounds, in the same brown tunic: St. Padre Pio.

Facing a detour to get to San Giovanni, we drove instead winding overtop a mountain, we tried very hard not to feel sick, as Father kept getting distracted by the beautiful scenery below. It was beautiful, but I was reminded again that I am not quite a “fan” of heights. Plus I was not exactly sure of how well these guardrails would hold up, as we just saw a car absolutely dominate a guardrail about a half an hour ago, and we could only praise God that it didn’t skid overtop directly at us. Again, quite handy to have a priest with you, incase there was a sudden need to administer Last Rights. Even the town at the top of the hill was absolutely covered in fog, where we could hardly see a few feet in front of us.

By the grace of God we made it over (okay, it wasn’t really that bad…but it reminded me a bit of Needles Highway out west, which reminded my stomach why I did not “stomach” that trip very well). Father had found a wonderful place for us to stay. It was basically the pilgrimage hotel, very very new and quite “posh” I must say, and I was reminded as I walked into the main entrance and was greeted by a huge statue of our Blessed Mother Mary, that this is indeed a Catholic country! And also, how much these people love their Saints, because Padre Pio was even on our light switch! It is quite amusing going from town to town in Italy. Every city has their own Saint or Miracle. There is no shame to have the Blessed Mother billowing above the main streets while you walk to class, or St. Peter directing you with his keys to the true Kingdom, while you’re distracted at finding best sales at shops. (Ah, the joy of true freedom­).

We got settled in our rooms and were able to even greet Jesus who was staying down the hall—yes a little chapel with the Blessed Sacrament in a tabernacle! (Again…I love Italy). Father led us to the church where St. Padre Pio is now exhumed after the 40^th anniversary of his death and entrance into Eternal Life.

So why is this old Italian Capuchin so important, anyway? Well, a) he is a saint. But I guess why is he a saint.

St. Padre Pio only died in 1968. I think my mom said that made her about 8. That first of all is super exciting, because he is a saint of our century! He entered the Capuchins early on. He liked them because of their beards. (I guess sometimes God can easily use outwards things to draw us in as well!) He was only about 30 when he was praying before a crucifix, was drawn totally into the Passion of Christ, felt a sort of suffering but also deep consolation, and realized that he indeed was suffering the pains of Christ. He had received the stigmata—the wounds of Christ. He bled from his hands, feet, and side with no real reason except that he had totally conformed his life to be molded and modeled after Christ.

He also had a great gift of hearing confessions. In fact, people would come from all over the world to have them hear their confession…and wait in line for hours. I think he heard confessions almost all day sometimes. Just think about that! Now days, at some churches, thanks be to God, the lines are growing, but most of us cannot fathom a time in our lives when we’ve really had to wait a substantial amount of time to be in line for confession.

What came along with his ability to draw souls in for healing in confession, was that he had the ability to read souls. One account was given of two Protestants who did not believe the stories they heard about how he would be able to tell people what their sins were. So they made up all these sins, and went to confession with him. After they were done confessing all their made up sins, Padre Pio actually told them what their true sins were. Just imagine the embarrassment and the shock this must have given them.

Needless to say they converted shortly after…

He also had the gift of bi-location. Especially during the war, soldiers in Germany would see this man in a brown tunic and hood summoning them over by him. They would go over by him, and right afterwards, a grenade would go off right where they had previously been standing. Then they would look back and Padre Pio was gone…when in fact he had never left his monastery in San Giovanni, yet he could recall all these instances, and later some of the soldiers when out to seek who this man was.

There are many many other stories. I would definitely suggest reading anything there is about him. He is SO interesting and so real. He was known for his bad temper, something he was so embarrassed about and struggled with a lot. He was a Saint, but you would never have known such a honest fiery priest.

We were able to pray before his body, which was exposed. One of the girls reflected afterwards on how peaceful he looked and how looking at his face, it brought so much encouragement because she knew he was looking at God!

They had a little museum so to speak, where you could wander through the monastery, and see his cell, his gloves that he wore to hide the stigmata (he was quite embarrassed by it because it caused so much commotion among the people), and a bookcase the size of a wall in my room packed full of letters from people all over the world…letters from just one year of his life.

That night we had a very nice relaxing dinner, where we heard many stories from Father Cozzens of his time of his studies in Rome. He just finished up his Doctorate last year, and had been living in Rome for about 4 years. He was here when Pope John Paul II died, and was able to be in the procession when they carried JPII’s body and also was in the piazza at St. Peter’s when Pope Benedict the 16^th was elected.

Sunday morning Father Cozzens was able to celebrate mass for us at the very same altar where Padre Pio always celebrated mass. It was very exciting and such a blessing for all of us, but I know especially him. Saturday he had requested celebrating mass in a small side chapel they have right outside of Padre Pio’s tomb. The man said that it was not available, but wouldn’t he like to celebrate mass at the same altar where St. Padre Pio always celebrated mass? Well I think Fr. Almost BURST with excitement, and every time we’d look at a picture of Padre Pio celebrating mass at that chapel, he couldn’t help but excitingly exclaiming “WE’RE GOING TO HAVE MASS THERE TOMORROW!” Haha. It was wonderful.

Our time there was closing with rain, while Deacon Al led Katherine Kalynn and I in the stations of the cross. Right when we got to the last one, the resurrection, the sun came through and the rain stopped. Praise the Lord! (I get crabby easily when it gets cold and rainy…crummy weather does not suit my mood well!)

We hopped back into the van and decided we’d take a different way back so we could side trip to Monte Cassino. The joys of having a van and not having to use public transportation—we could decide where we wanted to go as we went! We were getting close to Cassino, when we saw a cute town built into the hill. So…we decided we’d check it out! Well it was the most charming tiny town: Pesche. Half of it was absolutely falling apart and some of it was barely standing, and part had actually been rebuilt. One building would have a roof missing and a tree growing out of it, while the one next to it someone would still be living in! Ah, the historic Italy I love.

Well it turned out to be so tiny there wasn’t any place to stop for lunch, so we drove down into the town below to try to find something, but everything was closed. We were growing steadily crabby because we couldn’t even find a gas station or supermarket open. This is when we realize: we’re not in America anymore! Father just laughed as he happily pointed out “Well, at least these people take the Sabbath seriously!”

We managed to find the one restaurant open in the town, which turned out to be that everything was home made and absolutely delicious. We were absolutely stuffed, and were starting to get late on our way to Monte Cassino.

Monte Cassino is literally just the mountain of the town of Cassino. It is about two ish hours south of Rome. The importance is that St. Benedict, when he founded his Benedictine monastery, chose this for his location. It is the most immense monastery, and the most beautiful place I think I have seen. It is perched right on top of this mountain, because St. Benedict didn’t want just anyone coming up there…but only those who were serious enough to climb the mountain.

As we climbed to the top (in the van, thanks be to God---although the heights factor was not helping again), you could see for miles around—even over to the town of Aquin where, who else but St. Thomas Aquinas (pray for us!-patron of my Univeristy) was from and is buried.

We were able to listen to the end of the monks’ vespers and go down into the crypt where St. Benedict and St. Scholastica (twin saints. He founded the Benedictine monks, she founded the nuns) are buried.

As we went outside we were greeted by the most beautiful sunset. I was so inspired by this place, where since about the year 500 monks have been praying for us! Father Cozzens exclaimed excitedly “THIS is the beginning of Western monasticism!” Goodness, the history is just so rich! This is our FAITH! This is the CHURCH!

We made it back to Rome by 8 that night, back to a reality of paper writing. But it was such an inspiring weekend. It is one of my favorite things about this experience is getting to know the saints personally.

St. Padre Pio, St. Benedict, St. Scholastica-pray for us!

quote

“Christian purity is not a refusal of or disdain for love. On the contrary, it is the cultivation of love-of true love, that is. What the world calls love is usually nothing more than empowered egotism most of the time. No one lives in love without sacrifice, without renunciation. The capacity that people have to give to another is equal to their readiness to deny themselves. Eroticism is the real tomb of love, because it is only an unbridled pursuit of oneself for oneself.”

Raniero Cantalamessa, O.F.M. Cap.
Sober Intoxication of the Spirit, St. Anthony Messenger Press - Servant Books